Someone Find Me

I am lost. And I am trapped. And I am in pain. And I feel broken and defeated. I don't know where to turn anymore. I am surrounded by people that I adore. But feel like I'm not actually with them. I'm doing the things I love. But have never felt more frustrated. Treatment centers want to admit me but I can't admit myself. Not again. I have too much going on. I have a life. It's not worth it. It never works. If my stomach would stop killing itself, then I could try and gain weight out here. I think. I don't even know. I don't know who I am or what I am. Can someone please find me? Save me? Do something? I'm so numb and yet so full of emotions...I don't know what to do. Please help. Search for me. I'm here, somewhere. Scratching, clawing, aching to get out. But I can't. I can't fight. I don't know what to do.